Library Worklife

Work/Life

Workplace Aggression

Empowering the Victim

By Casey Schacher

When cold weather hits, running errands and performing daily activities can become increasingly difficult. Compound this with the pressures of the holiday season, and tempers are likely to flair. During this high-stress season, many library workers will be confronted by a swelling number of aggressive patrons and co-workers.

Defusing aggression requires a broad range of communication skills designed to target specific aggressors. Since the library attracts a variety of patrons, each with unique personalities and motivations, it is helpful for you to understand aggressive personality types and the communication problems associated with those types. After identifying and understanding certain aggressive personality types, you can then apply specific actions to neutralize potentially explosive situations. In "Servicing the Difficult Customer," author Kitty Smith outlines aggressive personalities and makes suggestions on how to handle them.

One of the most frightening types of personality to have conflict with is an overtly aggressive (OA) personality type. OA's thrive on arguments and are prone to shouting, temper tantrums, and sarcasm.¹ OA's tend to use bullying as a method to control things and people. It is important to understand that an OA's outburst is a habitual method of venting anger and frustration. The outburst is usually intended to remove obstacles and to get a desired action performed immediately. When they feel a lack of control, they will steamroll everything in order to get what they want. You are not their first victim, and you will not be their last.

People often handle OA's by striking back with aggression.² This can further aggravate the situation, however. As already stated, an OA's aggressive behavior is a form of control. As a natural, albeit hotheaded, leader, the OA will not allow anyone to subordinate him or her, especially in front of others, regardless of who is right. When a victim responds with retaliatory anger, this is a direct challenge to the OA's sense of control. What ensues is usually a wasteful and unproductive competition for domination that can swiftly escalate into verbal and even physical abuse.

Another common mistake in handling an OA's aggression is to passively submit to them. An OA wants the victim to submit, thus gaining control and the ability to get tasks accomplished through command. When a person becomes passive in response to an OA's aggressive behavior, this affirms the appropriateness of the OA's behavior and causes them to continue with their method of control. By submitting, the victim is showing the OA that using aggression is an acceptable and effective method to getting what they want.

A less explosive type of aggression comes from the covertly aggressive (CA) personality. A CA often takes "potshots at us from behind a protective cover of social-acceptance, often thinly disguising their volleys in the form of sarcasm, jokes, innuendos, stage whispers, teasing, or witticisms that are actually intended to hurt the other person."³ A CA commonly attacks through notes and emails (usually sent when they are gone or unavailable), within the cover of other people, or by using other non-direct ways. You may have patron who uses these techniques, using your staff, other patrons, or their family members as a cover, or you might have a group of students coming in with one standout CA. A CA often harnesses the use of witty rhetoric, like a Shakespearean clown speaking aside, and the remark will probably be worded as to disguise its real meaning. Through this behavior, the CA seeks a safe method of gaining control and feeling empowered over the victim. The victim of a CA will usually suffer the abuse in silence or even laugh along with the CA in order to prevent further nastiness. In fact, the CA depends upon this fact to provide safety for their indirect aggressiveness. Like in the case of the OA, responding to a CA with retaliatory aggressiveness or with passiveness only encourages the situation to continue.

In order to ultimately defuse aggressive situations, you should implement specific and calculated strategies. The way you cope with aggressive people will help to determine how they behave around you, and in your territory, in the future. Smith suggests standing up for yourself, even literally if dealing with an OA.⁴ Being at eye level and making firm eye contact in a non-confrontational manner will help fend off an OA's anger. Breathe slowly and calmly hold your position. If the person will not look at you, gain their attention by addressing them repetitively by name or whatever you normally call them and by saying, "I hear you," or "wait a minute."⁵ Repeat until they calm down. Do not, however, try to accommodate them while still agitated. Once calm, suggest taking a short walk or moving to a more private area in order to discuss the situation. The keys are to first establish the fact that anger will not help them accomplish a goal and then give them the opportunity to change strategies while still saving face.

The CA may prove to be a more difficult aggressor to ward off. Since they maneuver covertly, it is not a matter of riding out a storm of emotion until calmer waves create access to the shore. Remember, a CA attacks from under the cover of protective social conditions. Smith outlines a strategy designed to "smoke them out" from this cover, an essential step necessary to change their behavior.⁶ If you are continually bothered by a co-worker or patron who behaves this way, first, find or arrange an opportunity to speak privately in person with them. With no audience to play to, a CA will be less likely to make use of the usual aggressive rhetoric. Once alone, repeat to them what you heard them say, explain to them what the comment really seemed to mean, and then ask them if they truly meant it that way. Do not make accusations. They will either confirm or deny, but the point will be made that you will not play the game under their rules. By pulling them aside and politely asking them to clarify their statement, you have effectively said, "if you want to say something, say it to my face." But remember, this behavior will not change over night, or even over a year's worth of nights. Consistency in your response is essential.

Sometimes a situation can get so bad that you cannot safely handle it on your own. Be able to identify when a person's actions move beyond the realm of simple rudeness. Harassment should be reported to higher authorities such as your director, supervisor or security officer, if present. When a person starts threatening physical violence, throwing objects, and/or behaving in a general violent manor, they have compromised the safety of everyone in the surrounding area. In his book Dealing with Difficult People in the Library, Mark R. Willis outlines what to do if the situation becomes dangerous:

Alert all staff of the situation.⁷
Look for signs that the person is mentally ill (such as a medical alert bracelet) and/or is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Never touch the aggressor.
Keep physical space and large objects between you and the aggressor.
Keep the interaction in plain sight. Never seek privacy with an enraged and violent person.
Arrange an emergency signal in advance so that you may secretly notify co-workers if the police are needed. Willis suggests giving the police a nickname, such as Mr. Webb.⁸
Most importantly, call the police. All library workers are authorized to call the Police and should do so if safety is threatened.

Regardless of the degree of aggressiveness exhibited by another, you owe it to yourself and to your patrons to help create a safe and aggression-free environment. Aggression comes in many forms: through both overt and covert action. In any form, however, aggression in the workplace creates harmful stress and unhealthy working conditions. By strategically planning a course of action before a bad situation arises, you are better equipped to secure a healthy environment for everyone.

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References

Kitty Smith, Servicing the Difficult Customer: A How-to-Do-It Manual for Library Staff (New York: Neal-Schuman, 1994), 57–59.
Ibid., 59.
Ibid., 62.
Ibid., 61.
Ibid., 60.
Ibid., 66.
Mark Willis, Dealing with Difficult People in the Library (Chicago: ALA, 1999), 27–30.
Ibid., 27.